Most people don’t often have to experience the kind of life altering news that I’m about to share. As such, I ask that you please sit down before reading on. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Okay, here goes…
Over the next four weeks, my beard, that exquisitely bushy face fuzz I wear virtually year-round, will be no more. As of October 1st, it has been shaved off completely.
I know what you're thinking. You're concerned. I’m a little concerned, too. Like you, I fear that such a sudden change in coverage will leave my face far too exposed to the elements. That my bare mug will be subjected to the dangerously frigid 50 and 60 degree autumn chill, leaving it chaffed, swollen and in dire need of moisturizer.
But fear not, comrades, for there is one sacred strip of facial real estate that will not succumb to such a frost-bitten fate: my upper lip--whereupon a new hope will rise and declare its supremacy for all to see. And it will cry out that ye, though the age of the beard has ended.....the time of the mustache has only just begun.
As you no doubt know, with great mustache comes great responsibility. That is why I, along with fellow ‘stache enthusiasts across the country, am growing my mustache in support of classroom projects in need. Please sponsor my 'stache by choosing a classroom project below and making a donation of any amount. Your contribution, no matter the size, will go a long way towards ensuring that a worthy classroom project is funded, and that students will have access to the best learning materials available.
One final note. I also grow this mustache in honor of a fallen 'stache of considerably greater stature than my own. I speak of none other than Mr. Keith Hernandez's legendary mustache, which was shaved last month after 25 proud years resting upon the upper lip of one of the greatest 1st baseman in MLB history. In lieu of flowers, Mr. Hernandez has asked that donations be made to classrooms in need on my mustache page.
Thank you all!