Dear Concerned Friend,
It is with both deep humility and profound honor that I seek your assistance in raising awareness for the Society for the Protection of Wild Mehrstaches, the fake proxy organization I founded to help the Mustaches for Kids project. Over the next month, I promise to cultivate and promote what is to become the most awesome hairy upper lip on the 1000 block of Pine Street, in exchange for you contributing to any of the worthy causes listed below.
Your contributions, no matter how pathetically small or generously large, will go towards helping some unfortunate child or adult or cat or whatever get the thing it needs most: money for something. So please, think of the children, the elderly, and the kittens, and donate $100† or whatever you can afford - whichever's more - to the Society for the Protection of Wild Mehrstaches.
Please - I don't want to have to hurt you.
Mehrshad "Main Mehrstache" Mansouri
† All kidding aside, please donate whatever you can. If there's another cause you'd like to donate to that is not listed here, let me know and I'll consider adding it. Thanks... -m hide